I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile and my heart
For times when my life feels so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring

When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone

I 'm all out of LOVE, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of LOVE, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

p/s : damn! this song got me into the blues.. rocking me since i'm small.. hahhaha.. u out there.. don't get me wrong aa.. i luv this song to bits..

it's RAINING!

probs with facebook?

nahh~ no big deal..

"The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that
I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which
neither time nor eternity can bring diminution -- this
everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these
depths."

-- Groucho Marx

sigh~

sigh~

sigh~

spider webs covering all over my blog.. hahahhaa..

well~

recap of things i've done since my last post..

• gone for MAS Cabin Crew interview @hilton,kch.. went smoothly.. but slowly.. n sigh~ not successful to enter the last stage of interview.. a good experience tho~ prolly my facial scar hinder my interview.. nvm.. positive thinking~

• gone for strobist night.. photoshoot with bg.hardy.. met lots of interesting peoples.. putat.. alel.. k.tetty.. eha.. not forgetting erin.. hahahha.. 3 stuges tek nak..

• celebrating eidul adha in mukah.. makan lemang masak wa.. fuhh~

• introduced to petanque.. aiseh.. mampus la aku mun aku bergiat ngan petanque tok.. ilang ilmu-ilmu bowling ku lak.. control urself man..

• upgraded my pc OS to vista.. having lots of problems on the way upgrading.. from xp sp3 to vista ultimate.. back to xp sp3 then finally vista business.. my pc very the slow! need to upgrade jugak la ni..

• start playing tennis again.. hahahaha.. affected by erin n eha.. including iman.. slowly got my rhythm back.. missing those times~ sighh~ if only i could..

• tomorrow i'm off to mukah again.. driving through rough terrain where land rovers and hummers including beemers suv should be put to test! actly during my trip back to sibu previously.. the exhaust patah! exactly in the middle.. luckily i'm not far from the main road selangau-sibu..

now.. i'm logging off.. no idea..

Over the years I have developed a picture of what a human
being living humanely is like. He or she is a person who
understands, values and develops his or her body, finding it
beautiful and useful; a person who is real and is willing to
take risks, to be creative, to manifest competence, to change
when the situation calls for it, and to find ways to
accommodate to what is new and different, keeping that part of
the old that is still useful and discarding what is not.

-Think About It-

Cheers~

i'm totally down..

lifeless..

"Strength is happiness. Strength is itself victory. In
weakness and cowardice there is no happiness. When you wage a
struggle, you might win or you might lose. But regardless of
the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to
struggle is proof of your victory as a human being."

-- Daisaku Ikeda

p/s : this quotes really means a lot to me.. read it over and over again.. then u'll really understand..

it's my 4th day of being 23 yrs old.. wow.. can believe it.. last sunday was my birthday.. the night before i was thinking of celebrating.. with anyone whom wanna celebrate with me.. and i'm lucky to have few of my frens with me that night.. if i am alone.. i wonder wut will i do.. thanks guys n gurl! shamsul.. teenee.. aan.. dino.. najib.. how do we celebrate my birthday?? u guess.. hahahahha.. playing monopoly! for over 3 hours.. 11.30 p.m till nearly 3 a.m. i guess.. where do we play.. taman harmoni! sampei kedey dah tutup.. hahahhaa.. got few messages wishing my birthday.. sum even wishing me earlier then expected.. i felt loved from those wishes.. in my ym.. furthermore.. those wishes in my facebook!! WOW! it's unbelievable!!.. i lost count on how manye wishes i received.. thank u all from the bottom of my heart.. i cherish all wishes wished for me.. all the prayers.. hope it comes to reality.. Amin.. InsyaALLAH..

reality... i was very upset couple days before my birthday.. feel really tense.. i'm just not me.. i just can't be me.. pressured! stressed! lonely! in need of sumthing! hurm.. plus.. i'm not selected for petronas instep programme.. sigh.. it's not my luck maybe.. i accept my life as it is and try to make it better.. most importantly for my self... the main priority! after achieving.. then i'll proceed on with my other life..

haiya.. every time i blog.. i must be nagging bout sumthing.. talking crap.. gi mana ni sih~ becoz talking bout my personal problems.. my feelings here in my blog.. helps me to relax.. i write as if i'm talking to sumone.. that eventually sumone is u lah.. hehehhe.. sorry for my boring nagging..

forget bout the nagging.. if i'm stressed out.. frustrated.. i'll always try to bring my spirit up n get the joy back.. i don't like feeling down for long.. i'm the happy-go-lucky type.. get goer type.. no-brainer! hahahhaa..

back to reality.. everyone seems to liking monopoly! yeehaa.. after playing on my birthday eve.. we played again the next evening.. ada orang sik puas ati.. in the end.. the orang yang sik
puas ati ya tek won that evening.. hahaha.. lucky u.. and the crazy part was.. i'm the first to declare bankruptcy! haahhaa.. malu weh.. nang nampak sik pandei berbisnes.. hahahhahahha..

planning to continue playing tonite.. but seems like everyone not really in the mood.. so.. relax2 jak lah.. dino cia dinner malam tok.. thanks dino! makseh bebanyak.. then lepak with amri at his house.. amri dah berjaya polah 360 on his bike.. on the ramp.. next for him.. tailwhip rasa nya nak am.. chaiiyyooo!!

wah! wah! now tgh dgr lagu taylor swift! rindu ngan taylor swift! gigi jongang curi! yehha! so sweet.. but.. she's got a boyfriend sudah.. ala.. takpa.. hidup single dolok lah.. next time i'll try to win her heart! chewah! perasan kedirik luqman oii!!

after lepaking at amri's house.. ejai called.. he got sum plan.. he ajak me.. i ekot lah.. pegi karaokee yuk!! hohohoh~ syoknya saya.. tanpa segan silu saya mengikut dia n his fren.. hasbollah.. mek orang g mas club! nobody's there.. the place was ours! bukan main byk request lagu.. then one person came in.. karaoke few songs.. then nya balit.. yahu! the place was ours again!.. i sang quite a few songs.. oldies.. Frank Sinatra - My Way.. Blackrose - Penantian.. The Carpenters - Close To You.. Padi - Sesuatu Yang Indah (which i sang terribly!).. that's just to name a few..

dah balit tek.. i got a plan.. next time we go karaoke.. will bring more of our buddies! malam tok sorilah sekpat.. orang ngajak.. n orang sponsor.. thanks hasbollah! eboh jerak aa.. i sang my heart out! bes weh! release tension n stress.. and sumwut.. ejai n hasbollah padah.. " kau mbak lagu penantian nang kedak orang frust cinta lah! "... hahahhah! aku menyanyi dgn sepenuh perasaan u noe!~ oh yes.. both of them seems amazed when i sang that song.. " cina pun pandei mbak lagu rock kapak ka? nang hebat! "

hahahhahha! well.. i had fun tonite.. thanks ejai n hasbollah.. really... i'm advising u all out there.. sumtimes.. go karaoke.. just sing.. don't care sora flat ka.. cam katak ka.. don worry.. hampir suma orang yang pergi karaoke got the same talent as u.. percayalah kata2 ku.. hahahahaa..

da~ i'm out for now.. peace out!~

( aclty i wrote this post in the notepad.. later when i can go online.. i'll post it on my blog.. copy n paste!.. now is 4th Nov.. 3.52 a.m.. )

i' had enough troubles and misfortunes in my life! why do they keep coming back??!! why??!! what am i missing there?? u miss me huh ?? u miss me trouble?? u miss me misfortunes?? FUCK!! FUCK!! FUCK!! juz stay away from me!! damn it!! i threw u away as far as i can.. but why the hell did u came back??!! haunting me again??!! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! can't get enough of me?? ok.. now... give me all u've got!! give it!! i'll take it!! i'll crawl out of it!! i'm trying to move forward!! darn!! can't u give me a break!! let me move forward!! huh??!! why can't u??!!

LEAVE ME ALONE !!!!

"It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself,
you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not
know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and
lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you
will be imperiled in every single battle."

-- Sun Tzu

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

wut had been done this two weeks?? i wonder.. wut did i achieve? are there any? urm... ada achievements ka this two weeks? might be.. can i consider it as achievements in life? nope.. achievements in passing my all so priceless times that i spent on nothing eventually.. hurm.. ya hoh! really.. nothing.. gosh! wut am i gonna be?

sigh~

i'm like a bum.. BUM.. darn.. why should i call me self a bum? hohohoh.. crazy~ seens lots of series lately.. with ejai.. smallville.. from season 1 to 4.. this time.. i really concentrate watching n connecting the dots between the series of events happening during those 4 seasons.. ya'll out there following smallville series.. think back again.. did u uncover the mysteries or clues given in each every episode? i did!~

really.. i'm like " WwWoooaaWW.. now i get it " and " fuck! that's it!! " and " darn! how could they ever think bout all of this?! " and " this is the starting of the superhero world "

ever have those thoughts in ur mind while watching? rasanya tidak kot.. coz ya'll busy admiring lana's awesome body.. clark's masculine body n handsome look.. chloe's stupidness and daring.. louis's persona n smiles..

better watch it again.. before u end up thinking.. ey.. before this look like sumthing connected to this series la.. bla..bla..blaaa.. aiseehh..~

cut! enuff bout smallville..

at one time of a given day.. i suddenly think bout this song.. a song.. i last heard it years ago.. i'm like putting up a status in my fb.. " anybody knows this one song.. by Seal.. it sounds like " together we will be.. forever you and me.. " .. anybody? i've been trying to find the song.. the title of the song.. plzz.. help me.. it's a fabulous song.. i heard it yearrssss ago~ "

then i remembered there sounds of gurls singing in the background of the song..

to my surprise.. it didn't take long for sumone to come up with a title of the song.. i'm like.. YEAHHH!!! give me.. tell me.. and she's like i don't know either its the correct song i'm looking for.. i'm like.. nevermind.. let me hear n i'll make the conlcusion..

just as she mention Lifehouse Family - High .. i said to .. THAT'S IT!! YYEESSS!!...

u see.. i'm totally off by the singer of the song.. from Seal to Lifehouse Family.. but.. not that far as both are black artist right.. their voices also pretty similar.. to my ears la.. i'm sooo happy! i like fast-fast download-download fast-fast!!!

then i play the track.. owh~ so lovely! i'm like.. there's no need for the lyrics.. the lyrics surfaces suddenly and my lips are singing to the song! wow! that song.. really is sumthing! u all should hear that song.. it's fabulous!

at least a happy post rite! hahahhaa...

last thursday.. 2nd Zulkaedah.. my late father's anniversary of him passing away.. 5 years passed.. why time flies by so fast?? why?? 5 years.. 5 years.. i miss u dad.. i truely miss u.. i love u dad.. no matter wut.. u're still my awesome dad!

this sunday.. gonna be in mukah.. for the mkn hol.. that would be my first trip to mukah in 6 months.. hurm..

sigh~

Al-Fatihah~

sunday.. zzZZzzZZzZzzzzZZZzz~

house phone rang.. my brother calling..

bla....bla...bla...bblllaa..bllaaa... oh izzit? oh.. ok... i'll do it a.s.a.p!

get my bearings rite.. everyday surf the net..

mission : go to instep petronas and fill out the application form..

pray for me i'm going to be selected for the interviews.. amin...

InsyaALLAH.. amin...

he's the champ man! he's the champ!

uols gotta watch this.. this dude is awesome!

remember him ? Malaysian! u should know him!

Xclusive Report by H.Luqman : England 0 - 1 Ukraine

Gud ebening everyone.. eh.. gud nite or gud morning.. this is the shocking written report by me.. whom obviously never wrote a report for any such news.. events.. or any of such matters.. englen had lost to ukraine side with a one goal deficit.. thanks very much to the clumsiness of Lio Pedinen.. and most of all.. the highest ranking of all in British history of football.. the honorable knight of men that made England lost in a football match that matters to British citizens including me.. whom supporting very the much of England.. here to pronounce to u~ ( drums rolling )

A.Cole! the provider of a goal! thank u very much a-hole! and now.. eventho englen are on their way to the world cup finals in S.Africa 2010.. to the dismay.. England's way to the history book as the country that won all of their matches in the qualifying group grinds to a halt.. the last team manage to carve their name in the history book was West Germany! aiyaa.. england.. y u cannot do it leh..

but nebermind.. ENGLAND! I STILL SUPPORT U! for all the crapping and nagging here.. it's all for a gud laugh.. but still.. WUT THE HECK CAN'T THEY WIN TONITE?? Robert Green.. answer me! i'm an terrible fanatic fan! ops~ i've gone too far here..

ok.. no offense to anybody.. sorry for the disturbance..

( dgn stail nya angkat tangan kiri nya cam robot rusak servo.. mala turun nait jak.. )
buah betik rah luar pagar..
mun ko sa ko tinggi.. tolong jolokkan..
aku biak bok jak nak belajar lompat pagar..
mun ku salah.. paluk tigakkan..

saya.. karamsingwalia.. melaporkan.. utk berita 3TV! kembali ke studio ya halim...

The vision is that we actually believe these things…

You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters.

We live in a difficult world, a broken world. My friend Byron is very smart - he says that life is hard for most people most of the time. We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments. You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck.

We all wake to the human condition. We wake to mystery and beauty but also to tragedy and loss. Millions of people live with problems of pain. Millions of homes are filled with questions – moments and seasons and cycles that come as thieves and aim to stay. We know that pain is very real. It is our privilege to suggest that hope is real, and that help is real.

You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption. We're seeing it happen. We're seeing lives change as people get the help they need. People sitting across from a counselor for the first time. People stepping into treatment. In desperate moments, people calling a suicide hotline. We know that the first step to recovery is the hardest to take. We want to say here that it's worth it, that your life is worth fighting for, that it's possible to change.

Beyond treatment, we believe that community is essential, that people need other people, that we were never meant to do life alone.

The vision is that community and hope and help would replace secrets and silence.

The vision is people putting down guns and blades and bottles.

The vision is that we can reduce the suicide rate in America and around the world.

The vision is that we would learn what it means to love our friends, and that we would love ourselves enough to get the help we need.

The vision is better endings. The vision is the restoration of broken families and broken relationships. The vision is people finding life, finding freedom, finding love. The vision is graduation, a Super Bowl, a wedding, a child, a sunrise. The vision is people becoming incredible parents, people breaking cycles, making change.

The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead.

The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know.

The vision is hope, and hope is real.

You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.

laaalalalaa~ 5 days just staying at home.. tonite just came out of the nest.. to my unluckiness.. heavy downpour and dampens my mood of lepaking tonite.. sigh.. adding up to misery.. felt sick n flu.. haven't really catch a flu for a long time.. wow~ usually i'll be like sneezing every morning when i woke up but since last 3-4 months.. it's gone for good.. tonite~ crap!~

5 days at home.. doing nothing other then cooking, eating, sleeping, drinking (obv non-alcoholic), ym-ing, fb-ing, utube-ing, tvshack-ing, downloading.. wut else aa.. watching tv.. lots of tv.. if anybody wanna die young at heart with fat blobbing around ur body.. then go ahead enjoy the routine everyday till the day u die..

gud for me tho~ cooked a lot of stuffs.. spaghetti bolognaise with minced chicken! yumm~ yumm~ changed the pasta to vege spirals.. then cooked pan-fried braised chicken with onions garlics spices and herbs.. macaroni and cheese~ easy does it! and lots of maggi mee n indo mee! hahahahhaa~

imagine eating spaghetti for lunch.. breads for everning tea.. maggi for late evening tea...( how do i say it).. then 4 slices of pizza! ( i never ate 4 slices of pizza! OMG! ) usually 2 slices enuff to make me full.. then adding up.. for late supper.. milo n cream crackers.. fuh! nikmatt~

28th of september.. my niece (i'm still confused between nephews n nieces which one for boys n girls) joins our family.. another add-ons i supposed.. hahaha.. jahatnya saya.. Sofea Amani.. born under-weight.. can't go back home straight after delivery like her brother.. stayed extra 2 nights in Prince Court Hospital for observation..

My mom flew to KL the night Kak Nissa gave birth.. stayed there for a week.. and she came back with pictures of Sofea!! yyyaaahhuu!~ can't wait to be next to her in kl in a few days or week.. hohohoho... Mom told us Daris ( her elder brother ) cared for her... no jealousy seen through his face.. lam hati sapa tauk nak.. hahahhaa... Daris.. we all still love u like always!

i wanna upload sofea's pics but no raw files.. gambar yang printed out adalah.. later wait till i'm in kl.. i'll post pics of her,k!..

looks very much like daris.. but nobody knows how she will look like growing up.. seeing daris and taking care of him since birth.. he changed from the mushy penyek face after birth.. to chinese looking eyes during the next few months.. from fair to darker skin then to fairer skin.. who knows wut might end up..

Nah!~ nobody cares bout it.. i luv u sofea! eventho i havent seen u! i'll be ur bestest uncle! ngahahaha! the evil-sot sot de-no brainer uncle yeah!

" The greatest discovery
of my generation
is that
a HUMAN BEING
can alter his life
by altering his
ATTITUDES "

name : Sofea Amani bt Safrisia

date : September 28th 09'

time : 8.45 p.m

age : 3 hrs 30 mins

I'M PROUD TO BE HER UNCLE!!!

Welcome to the family Sofea!!

selamat hari raya ! maaf zahir dan batin..

i'm off to kl.. n won't be here till the fourth syawal.. darn..

p/z : sorry can't celebrate with ya'll peeps.. don't miss me too much.. miss me a lot is enuff.. hahahaha..

Parlimen secara rasmi nya telah mula bersidang bagi sesi raya 09'!

"If you keep thinking about what you want to do or what you
hope will happen, you don't do it, and it won't happen."

-- Desiderius Erasmus

am sleepy

bloggers.. hurm...

considered as those " creative " peoples that can read, write n type.. whole lots of things u may find in blogs across the sungei.. or laut.. or seas.. or anything u would like to imagine..

from much needed info bout any stuffs u might think of.. to crazy posts like swearing.. bla..bla..bla... almost like mine.. nagging?? yeah.. updates?? whoooaaa... facts?? news?? political views?? file sharings?? pictures?? movies?? err.. why am i listing it all down?? wth~

ok.. i'm proud to say.. i'm a rojak blogger.. ROJAK ?? u x paham? u open the kamus.. in google also got.. yahoo also got.. u search ajak..

i'll write almost anything in my blog.. nobody are to judge me by the way.. no black n white.. T&C of wut one shall write or shall not.. it's an open dictionary of u !! yeesss!! uu!!

and of coz.. my blog is an open dictionary of me self !! not urs.. not that gurl.. not this guy.. minee.. minee.. minee.. totally minee.. 100% mine..

from reading a particular blog.. u might get for urself.. a picture of the whole lot.. wut i mean by the whole lot is.. the blogger himself/herself.. or?? are there others? aliens??

depends on the reader.. u read for fun.. u read for facts.. u read for knowledge.. its u who decide..

i as a blogger.. i wrote lots bout my story.. previous blog title - paragraph of life.. the title tells u everything.. and now.. wut was it?? it's in past tense.. might be a lil off with some posts.. but still.. more to past tense.. so more to my past.. or sumthing that had happen..

erm... this post might sound weird n stupid.. sorry for this lousy post.. it might be wut n how n the condition or the situation or wutever it might be with me.. sot-sot de.. no-brainer..

i don't really know how many of u follow my blog.. thanks for those followers.. and thanks to u that eventually read mine..

if my blog seems a lil disturbing to any individuals out there.. maybe even the outer space.. do feel free to comment.. i'll be very delightful if there's any response.. feedback in everything i do is really important.. for improvement.. and.. maybe... sharing.. er.. sharing is caring? or the other way round? nah.. i'll leave it to u to decide..

nah.. i'm stupid..

~cHeErs~

Shan Hu Hai ( Coral Sea )

Verse 1:

海平面远方开始阴霾 悲伤要怎么平静纯白
hai ping mian yuan fang kai shi yin mai / bei shan yao zhe me ping jing chun bai
Clouds gather on the faraway (sea) horizon, How can I keep my sadness calm

我的脸上始终夹带 一抹浅浅的无奈
wo de nian shang shi zhong jia dai / yi mo qian qian de wu nai
I remained straight-faced, trying to cover the hint of resignation


你用唇语说你要离开 (情不在)
ni yong chun yu shuo ni yao li kai (qing bu zai)
You silently said that you wanted to leave (The love's gone)

那难过无声慢了下来
na nan guo wu sheng nan le xia lai,
The sadness slowed down silently

汹涌潮水 你听明白
xiong yong chao sui, ni ting ming bai
Listen carefully to the crashing tides,

不是浪而是泪海
bu shi lang er shi lei hai
It is not from the sea but from tears

Chorus:

转身离开 (你有话说不出来) 分手说不出来
zhuan shen li kai (ni you hua shuo bu chu lai) fen shou shuo bu chu lai
Turning around to leave, (You have something to say but remained speechless), unable to say it's over

海鸟跟鱼相爱 只是一场意外
hai niao gen yu xiang ai / zhi shi yi chang yi wai
The love between a seagull and a fish is only an accidental occurrence

我们的爱 （给的爱）差异一直存在 (回不来)
wo men de ai （gei de ai） cha yi yi zhi cun zai (hui bu lai)
Differences had always existed in (the love you gave) our love (we can't go back)

风中尘埃(等待)竟累积成伤害
feng zhong zhen ai (deng dai) jing lei ji cheng shang hai
The dust that gathers in the wind (ends up) accumulating to pain

转身离开 分手说不出来
zhuan shen li kai fen shou shuo bu chu lai
Turning around and leave, (can't say it's over), unable to say it's over

蔚蓝的珊瑚海 错过瞬间苍白
wei lan de shan hu hai / cuo guo shun jian cang bai
An azure coral sea, a missed momentary paleness

当初彼此（你我都）不够成熟坦白(不应该)
dang chu bi ci （ni wo dou) bu gou cheng shu tan bai (bu ying gai)
Right from the beginning (you and me both) were not mature and frank enough (shouldn't)

热情不改 (你的) 笑容勉强不来
re qing bu gai (ni de) xiao rong mian qiang bu lai
The passion had not changed, (your) smile cannot be forced

爱深埋珊瑚海
ai shen mai shan hu hai
Love is buried deep within the coral sea

Verse 2:

毁坏的沙碉如何重来 有裂痕的爱怎么重盖
hui huai de sa diao ru he chong lai / you lie heng de ai zhe me chong gai
How do (we) rebuild the damaged sand sculpture, how can (we) fix a broken relationship?

只是一切 结束太快 你说你无法释怀
zhi shi yi qie / jie shu tai kuai / ni shuo ni wu fa shi huai
Only that all has ended too quickly and you said you could not understand why


贝壳里隐藏着什么期待 (等花儿开)
bei ke li ying cang zhe she me qi dai (deng hua er kai)
What surprises await in a seashell (Waiting for the flowers to bloom)

我们也已经无心再猜
wo men ye yi jing wu xin zai cai
We do not want to play the guessing game anymore

面向海风 (面向海风)
mian xiang hai feng (mian xiang hai feng)
The sea breeze caressing the face (the sea breeze caressing the face)

咸咸的爱 (咸咸的爱)
xian xian de ai (xian xian de ai)
The salty love (the salty love)

尝不出还有未来
chang bu chu hai you wei lai
Unable to feel any future (between us)

There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no
matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we
need to learn; whatever steps we take, they're necessary to
reach the places we've chosen to go."


Richard Bach

FUCK OFF !!!
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FUCK OFF !!!
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FUCK OFF !!!
FUCK OFF !!!

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we
have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance,
chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into
a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow."



Melody Beattie

..hidup IALAH hidup..


..hidup ADALAH hidup..




..fahaman anda? kongsikan bersama..

"All I can say about life is, Oh God, enjoy it!"

-- Bob Newhart

... how i wish ...

this morning felt great.. as wut i've expected.. it's just for a short while.. now.. i'm more worried.. my probs even got into my dream.. and hell.. it's terrible..

this fasting month.. i'm out or i'm down.. very seldom up.. when i'm up.. i'll be up up n away.. but then.. boom.. came tumbling down.. i just can't stop worrying bout myself.. it seems like i ain't got any future.. i'm darn tired thinking of it.. i felt so terrible.. juz wanna end all of it.. but how?

life is life.. life was life and it will always be that way..

"If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere."

Frank A. Clark

dunno wut got into my mind recently.. obviously.. this morning.. it's like totally 180 deg. from wut i've been going through..

i'm psyched!
( that's gud rite )

i slept for nearly 3 hrs.. the twilight novel seems liked to have been under me during my sleep.. well.. the cover roughed up a lil bit.. nevermind.. maseh bisa di selamatkan deh~



i sat in front of my pc.. hearing to the beats of great songs.. soundtracks from the movie step up 2 : The Streets.. funky dance hip-hop beats.. happy beats.. not those screamo that sounds like " setennzzz ".. tidak baik utk bulan posa.. hahahaha..



i got this idea to make speaker boxes n stands for mids n tweets.. i've been fixing my audio system for a while now n seems messy when i've done all the wirings.. speakers jatuh sana sini.. wayar di mana-mana.. nasib bait suma tapok jadi sik nampak.. hahahha.. will be nicer with proper speaker box installed.. might as well set up for a 7.1 surround.. ooooyyeeaahh bebeh!!~!~!



boom..boom.. n then kaabbooomm!~ hahahaahaha.. ( sik mintak )..



drew a few sketches.. then drew the final design.. simple n contemporary modern.. just enough to take out the best of the speakers performance.. FYI.. i've been designing stuffs a lot.. eventually.. it didn't come to reality.. setakat on papers jak.. no luck maybe.. mostly becoz no money.. hahahah.. insyaALLAH ada rezeki.. ada luck.. it'll be real.. though my bedroom furniture did came to reality.. ngeheheheh...



then.. time for saho.. wut to eat aa.. i'm feeling hungry.. kareh peti ais.. jumpalah 2 chix wings.. hurm.. idea! ting! ting! fried chicken.. nyamm~ nyamm~ mari kita menjadi kreatif.. hahaha.. not that creative actly.. simple braising technique n basic batter for frying stuffs..



Yellow had been following me since i start preparing.. meoww~ meooww~ jak nya.. tedah.. i'll give u a lil bit later la yellow.. jumping here n there kelaparan.. jumped on me! gosh! nasib sik terkejut gilak.. a wok of hot oil dpn saya.. apuuuu~



lekak mkn bersama yellow.. buurrpp.. kenyang!! alhamdulillah.. that was a really heavy one.. nasik tambah gik ya.. adoii.. very the vvooo-rooii lah tok...



now.. continue sleeping ka sik? not that sleepy actly.. blogging jak lah.. wut to do during the day? i dunno.. sleeping?? hahahhahaa.. my fav hobby of all time...



that's it.. i don't want to write too much.. afraid i'll go bored n out of ideas n start crapping n writing bout stuffs i don't want to think about.. merosakkan suasana yang bagus.. the air is clean n mood swinging~ buhbye for now my blog.. i miss u~ mwahs! i'll write in u when i want to write.. : p~ ( jujoh aek liur ku ngobek.. )

I haven’t got a clue if you’re the one
But I like you
And ooh I like how you make me feel
I wanna do this right
Don’t wanna waste this night
But I’m drowning
Drowning in your love

Bring me flowers
And talk for hours
And ooh I like you
And ooh I like how you make me feel
Kiss my face
Your warm embrace
And ooh I like you
And ooh I like how you make me feel

I’m a little scared to hold you closer
Cause I just might never ever let you go
Caught up in your smile
I’m happy as a child
But I’m still drowning
Drowning in your love

Bring me flowers
And talk for hours
And ooh I like you
And ooh I like how you make me feel
Kiss my face
Your warm embrace
And ooh I like you
And ooh I like how you make me feel

Oh, do do do do do do do

Your heart cares for nothing in return
And I’m just taking
Taking you in
Caught up in your smile
I’m happy as a child
But I’m still drowning
Drowning in your love

Bring me flowers
And talk for hours
And ooh I like you
And ooh I like how you make me feel
Kiss my face
Your warm embrace
And ooh I like you
And ooh I like how you make me feel

Bring me flowers
And talk for hours
And ooh I like you
And ooh I like how you make me feel

Close my eyes
And dream for miles
And ooh I like you
And ooh I like how you make me feel

Bring me flowers
And talk for hours
And ooh I like you
And ooh I like how you make me feel
Kiss my face
Your warm embrace
And ooh I like you
And ooh I like how you make me feel

We can never judge the lives of others,

because each person knows only their own pain,

and renunciation.

It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path,

but it's another to think that yours..

is THE ONLY PATH.

Paulo Coelho, Brazilian novelist

to : my blog.. again..

i just can't write..

it was... or they were?

- bought a novel of the twilight saga.. obviously start off with twilight la..

- sungkey with eeq n tini @pizza hut~ luckily we booked our table way long before people start queuing for tables

- when u r stuffed with foods, wut would u do? of coz find a cozy place to chill out n let the food do its thang!~ (went back home actually.. hahahaha)

- bored at home.. went bowling.. 8 games.. nice~ last nite my arm felt great.. but now.. tahi!

- taking order from this " ustazah ".. ngoder umai.. so cun ley my mom in mukah..

- ym-ing for a few hours.. sleep~ (i'm back to normal sleeping pattern!! hhhuuurraaahh!~ )

- awaken by the sound of tuuutt tuuuutttt.. tuuuutt tttuuuttt.. ( usatazah msg saya )

- becoz terlajak perauk.. not in time to sahor.. this " ustazah " also msg me a lil late.. aiseh...

- 6.30 a.m.. send the orders to mama..

- continue ym-ing n youtube-ing..

- take a short nap..

- gone bowling again!~ OMG!

- nearly 1 p.m mama reached home..

- thinking of sending the umai to " ustazah " but then.. lazy.. dia datang mengambil.. hohoho.. gave her the address..

- continue twilight..

- before 2 p.m dia datang.. amazingly.. one try boleh find my house.. gud..gud..

- chit.. chat.. bla..bla..bla... then buhbye~

- continue twilight..

- phone rang.. chit.. chat.. bla.. bla.. bla.. where this where that opinions.. aunty enter frame.. hung up..

- continue twilight n a lil ym-ing..

- phone rang.. chit.. chat.. bla.. bla.. bla.. bukit aup.. haunted.. pictures.. up.. down.. temple? pagoda? bla.. bla.. bla.. law king hoew museum.. haunted trees..

- hang up..

- continue twilight.. then fell asleep..

~ZZzzzZzzzzzZZZZzzzzZZZzZzzzzzZZzzzZZZZZzzzzzZzzzzZzZzz~

"We should not look back unless it is to derive useful lessons
from past errors, and for the purpose of profiting by dearly
bought experience."

how do u feel when u are part of one big thing.. then u seems to be left out of it.. WTF!

"I think that at some point in your life you realize you don't
have to worry if you do everything you're supposed to do
right. Or if not right, if you do it the best you can... what
can worry do for you? You are already doing the best you can."

Joe Namath.

my right hip hurts..

my knees start to sound like a tommy gun..

and ends like a big bomb!

ser-en-dip-i-ty




the art of making happy discoveries,


or finding the unexpectedly pleasant by chance or sagacity

Be who you are and say what you feel,

because those who mind don't matter,

and those who matter won't mind.

--Dr. Seuss--

to : my blog..

my blog.. it's the place that i can express my feelings.. my hopes.. my despairs.. i would shun to myself if i encounter any problems.. that is me.. that was me.. that will always be me.. then when i'm worried.. no solutions.. no ends.. i'll just try to keep myself calm.. collected.. and be happy.. i always have this thoughts.. positive thinking/actions leads to success.. leads to sumthing we strive for.. that's the power of positive thinking that i have in mind.. that's y people see's me as a happy going person.. fun , exciting , talks a lot.. joked a lot.. yeah.. that's me orite..

rather then me being negative of all thoughts.. bad energy flowing.. leads to bad decisions.. hatred.. fights.. bad things happening.. it's better for me to be positive.. maybe my way is just the opposite of urs.. well.. everybody got their own ways of dealing with problems..

writing in my blog.. i wrote.. i wrote openly.. not intentionally for someone.. not written only for u to read.. not even written for anybody to read.. tho i don't mind people reading it.. i like people reading my post.. paying intention to my blog.. i wouldn't say u r stalking on me.. i would appreciate that u care reading my blog n my post interest u in any ways i have..

i write in my blog is just like i write a note for myself.. a timeline.. for example my old blog.. i abandoned it lately and started this.. when i read from the first post until the last post of my old blog.. i came to a conclusion..

i failed in my life for the last 4 years.. not to say i failed everything.. but mostly.. i failed.. i'm sad.. i'm lonely.. low self-esteem.. i tried to hold on.. and now i hold on to my life.. on a very thin line.. i said to myself.. i gotta have my last chance before i'm gonna regret my life.. loose everything.. and ending up being a LOSER!

i don't want that to happen.. no one does.. it's a pathetic thing if it happens to sumone.. now.. i almost end up becoming a LOSER!.. but i gave myself another try.. another push.. another hope.. the very last hope that i could get.. hope in everything i do will grow into success.. not a failure.. no..noo..nooo.. i can't afford another failure.. my mind can't stand all the pressure.. stress..

i will try my very best.. and do wutever i can.. and hope i'll succeed.. i pray to ALLAH s.w.t.. to give my hope.. strength.. the believe that i can gain success in anything i do.. Ya ALLAH.. plz forgive me of all my sins.. i can bear anymore sins.. all i need now is hope.. hope.. hope..


hope and despair comes in pairs..
not only me but everyone should care..
keep in mind.. even if u're in a hay day..
let's hope n pray.. GOD help me.. for one more day..

Insya'ALLAH..

a new chapter begins..

I wish the way I was living could stop, serving rocks,
Knowing the cops is hot when I’m on the block, And I
Wish my brother would've made bail,
So I won’t have to travel 6 hours to see him in jail, And I
Wish that my grandmother wasn’t sick,
Or that we would just come up on some stacks and hit a lick, And I (I wish)
Wish my homies wouldn’t have to suffer,
When the streets get the upper hand on us and we lose a brother, And I
Wish I could go deep in the zone,
And lift the spirits of the world with the words with in this song, And I (I wish)
Wish I could teach a soul to fly,
Take away the pain out your hands and help you hold them high, And I
Wish my homie Butch was still alive
And on the day of his death we had never took that ride, And I (I wish)
Wish God could protect us from the wrong
So that all the soldiers that were sent over seas come home and, uh,
We will never break, though they devastate, we shall motivate,
And we gotta pray, all we got is faith.
Instead of thinking about who gonna die to day,
The Lord is gonna help you feel better, so you ain’t gotta cry today.
Sit at the light so long,
And then we gotta move straight forward, cause we fight so strong,
So when right go wrong,
Just say a little prayer, get ya money man, life goes on!!!
Let’s HOPE!


Cause I’m hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he’ll make a way
I know it ain’t easy but that’s okay.
cause we hopeful


I wish that you could show some love,
Instead of hating so much when you see some other people coming up (I wish)
I wish I could teach the world to sing,
Watch the music and have ‘em tripping off the joy I bring,
I wish that we can hold hands,
Listen instead of dissing lessons from a grown man, And I (I wish)
Wish the families that lack, but got love, get some stacks
Brand new shack and a lack that’s on dubs, And I
Wish we could keep achieving wonders,
See the vision of the world through the eyes of Stevie Wonder, (I wish)
And I hope all the kids eat,
And don’t nobody in my family see six feet, (ya dig)
I hope them mothers stain’ strong,
You can make it whether you wit him or your mans gone, And I (I wish)
Wish I could give every celly some commissary,
And the po po bring the heat on them priest like they did R. Kelly, And I
Wish that DOC could scream again
And bullets could reverse so Pac and Biggie breath again, (I wish)
Then one day they could speak again,
I wish that we only saw good news every time we look at CNN,
I wish we could never get the blues,
Wish I could bring back the people that died at E2
I wish that we could walk a path, stay doing the right thing
Hustle hard so the kids maintain up in the game,
Let’s HOPE


Cause I’m hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he’ll make a way
I know it ain’t easy but that’s okay.
cause we hopeful


Wish the earth wasn’t so apocalyptic,
I try to spread my message to the world the best way that I can give it,
We can make it, always be optimistic,
If you don’t listen gotta live my life the best way that I can live it,
I pray for justice when we go to court,
Wish it was all good so the country never even went to war
Why can’t we kick it and just get em on,
And in the famous words of Mr. King “Why can’t we all just get along”,
Or we can find a better way to shop and please, And I
Hope we find a better way to cop a keys, And I
Wish everybody would just stop and freeze,
And ask way are we fulfilling these downfalls and these prophecies,
You can be wrong if it’s you doubting,
With the faith of a mustard seed you can move mountains,
And only the heavenly father can ease the hurt,
Just let it go and keep praying on your knees at church!!
And let’s HOPE


Cause I’m hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he’ll make a way
I know it ain’t easy but that’s okay.
cause we hopeful

song : Twista feat. Faith Evans - Hope

-the kickstart for a new hope-